I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few years. Some good, some not. I’ve written here a lot about being single, and trying to make a life for myself that is happy and fulfilled whether there is someone else in my life or not.
I’m blessed to say the Lord didn’t require my singleness permanently. In the future perhaps, but right now I’m in a relationship, engaged to be married to someone I didn’t know existed.
I could recount all of the blessings he has brought into my life, but you would chalk it up to being on a pink cloud. You might be right, but it doesn’t nullify what he is to me at this time.
He thinks I’m beautiful and smart, and I think he sees something in me that I haven’t seen in myself for a long time. We seems very spiritually compatible, and in other ways. I have every hope that things are going to go along fine for some time.
The thing that I love most about being in a relationship is sharing things. Thoughts, ideas, jokes, movies. I’m definitely the type of person who values a shared experience. I had so much inside me, I think I virtually flooded him with my thoughts, plans, ideas, information. It feels good to be interested in another person’s life. Things that happen at work or home. You don’t share like that with a girlfriend or your parents.
I still have a piece of sadness, and I always will. But the pain has dissipated vastly. I have power over those thoughts when they come to me. I didn’t have the power 3 years ago. But in life you get scars. That’s just a fact. But in AA we say ‘we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.’ I’m not quite there, but I’m getting there. More on that later. Stay tuned.