I do like how some people see things in a positive light most of the time. They will hear a conversation or be in a situation and come out of it feeling good about it. I’m not that way, usually, so I am making the choice to be more positive.
When I have had situations with other people, I have felt fully responsible. These situations trouble me greatly. I go over and over them in my mind. In the past, I used it to chide myself about not being better in whatever way the situation called for.
Today I stop and evaluate situations and try to tell myself the truth. I don’t want to believe positive lies about myself. I want to know what my strengths are and feel good about them. So, mentally I evaluate.
Listening to other people’s evaluations is helpful. But I listen to the people who love me. I don’t have a lot of friends but I have a few very close friends who tell me the truth.
When I hear positive things, my gut reaction is to deny it. That’s the part I’m working on. Having that reaction, stopping and evaluating and telling myself the truth.
Sometimes I don’t even hear it. I have to slow down and listen. When people share their evaluations and they are hard to hear, I want to be open to the fact that I might be wrong or that I might have something to work on. I do want to be a better person. Having character defects doesn’t condemn me. Read Romans 8:1.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
The New International Version. (2011). (Ro 8:1). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
That means God doesn’t condemn me. So, I infer man cannot condemn me either. Nor should I condemn myself.
Finally, I am learning to relax and not take myself so seriously. All of this self-evaluation is great to a point, but it becomes a bit self-centered if I’m not careful. When I focus on service to the people in my life, I’m outside of the myopic insanity that is in my mind sometimes. I try to focus on what is good in the people I care about. I want to build them up. I’m not wonderful at it, but I’m good enough right now.
Once you get in the right frame of mind, I think anything's possible. I think we get, we so often get caught in this state of negativity and it's a, it's a poison like nothing else. Silver Linings Playbook