It’s a weird thing to think about whether or not to trust people. I think about it all the time. I don’t trust anybody. Not really. Not even my parents. And why?
Because we all have a secret life. Sometimes it’s bigger and sometimes smaller. There are things going on you never dreamed of.
That’s ok, because that’s true, and everybody navigates this.
Recently I’ve begun trusting some people, even knowing they have secret lives. Because there’s nothing wrong with having a secret life unless it spills over into real life and hurts someone else.
My secret life hurt a lot, a lot of people. Yet I want people to trust me. I’m sober, I’m medication compliant, I’ve done all this work. But I hurt people. Getting over that takes time.
I have a girlfriend, we get on really well. She’s in recovery with me, and she’s bipolar. So, we get each other. She says ‘I hope I didn’t offend you.’ I say ‘ don’t worry about that. We’re friends, if you offend me I’ll let you know. We’re not ending the friendship.’ She’s relieved, and we go on……I trust her. I don’t know why, other than the basis of our friendship being in our relationship with God and our recovery.
I think it can be that way with other people. So I’m going to give that a try. Maybe when you heal enough, trust is easier.