I’ve always been obsessive. I read books over and over. I watch the same movies time and again. I have just finished 2 or 3 years of listening to Foster the People almost every day. It comforts me.
It’s a double-edged sword; however. I obsess about bad things. Things that went wrong. Troubles with other people. Fear and pain.
That part of it really sucks. I wasn’t built like the kind of person who just rationalizes things out of their brains.
Recently something has been bothering me. My sponsor helped by having me write a letter. It worked for a bit. It creeps into my brain. I feel like it’s a habit that arises out of my sub conscience. I could ask for medication to help, but honestly, I’m of a mind to avoid that if I can. Plus there aren’t any guarantees.
So purchased an mp3 at iTunes to help relax and release obsessive thoughts. It has music and you relax and it says to imagine you are in a chair with a fireplace and so on. It then gives some things to visualize about letting go.
I find I’m unable to focus on it enough. It’s bedtime, I don’t want to work at it. Not late at night. It said to imagine lying on a raft, and the obsessive thoughts are like flies and to swat them in the water.
Well, I think I could have thought of something more creative. The idea of touching a fly upsets me. Being swarmed on a raft is not relaxing or relieving to me.
So I came up with my own. There is a video on Youtube now about putting a baby to sleep.
Basically it is someone who brushes their baby’s face with a napkin or tissue for 40 seconds and puts the baby to sleep. It’s quite amazing, and from someone with insomnia, I’m quite jealous. But it gave me this idea.
When I have obsessive thoughts, I brush my face from my forehead down, on my cheeks and wish the thought away. it calms me, and it brushes the images away (at least temporarily). It helps clear it up. It’s relaxing. Can’t do it in my car, but otherwise, a nice trick for now. I always seek new and more effective tricks. The world is full of them.