My kids are in varying degrees hurt and angry with, well, me basically. They are absolutely entitled. While I have been trying to figure out my culpability for is for my actions, they have suffered with not having the mother they are entitled to.
That is a very familiar situation for people in AA. For people who have manic depressive illness, it is similar.
What happens in AA is that we work the 12 steps. The Ninth step in particular for broken relationships.
The the ninth step from the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous says ‘9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.’
I have seen relationships healed and those that were severed permanently. I have been able to glean a measure of comfort from the wisdom of those in the church and AA.
I walk a tightrope with it. Making amends, insisting on respect…not for the things I have done wrong necessarily, just as a human being. They will need to learn to forgive, but that is between them and God.
I am finding that all of the people of God have their own path, and all that matters presently is seeking truth, knowing the love of God, and loving others. I wish to model this for the kids, and if I do, that makes any ‘suffering’ worthwhile. Suffering sucks.