I’m grateful to be alive today. There are many people who helped that to be. Mainly it was a glimmer of myself who was finally able to articulate what is true. I’ve been in hiding for a long time, thinking that I could do it myself. Full of shame that I didn’t seem to be able to do what would be the right thing. Allowing powerful forces to oppress me because I couldn’t open my mouth.

I was in a place where I didn’t want to accept logical consequences, and I told myself they were unfair and I believed that and I was adamant about it.

I sought the truth with one part and hid in lies in the other part.

So I’m here now. I know what I’ve lost and what I will do is watch the people I love….just watch them and enjoy watching them even if there is distance between us. I don’t care anymore. I’m not afraid of the truth. I’m afraid I’ll die in a lie.

Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t post this, but I want what I feel right now to be the truth I live with.

This articulates it so well for me: “Self Will Run Riot.”


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