There are a couple of things that are true about me. I am scared of people. It’s not just individuals, it’s just everywhere.
The second thing is that I’m a liar.
I appreciate the things people have done, reaching out, being patient….accepting.
I went to AA in 1989 for the first time. I was 21. I remember the first two meetings like it was today.
The first was a meeting at a church. It was a big meeting. I don’t remember the topic or anything.
At the end of the meeting, the chair turned to me and said ‘Would you like to lead us in the Lord’s Prayer?’
I said no.
The next meeting was in a different church. It was smaller. I sat next to a lady. She gave out the chips. The chips are coins marking length of sobriety. The first one, the white one is for someone ‘with the willingness to stop drinking.’
The white chip is the most important chip. It’s a confession. Saying it out loud with people present. It’s easier because you are with a bunch of people who have done it before.
They always say the newcomer is the most important person at the meeting.
So, at that second meeting, not having said a word, the woman next to me said ‘Would you like to take a white chip?
Grateful, I said ‘Yes.’